When a person is too timid and distrustful, easily frightened, experiencing difficulties in communication, feeling oneself embarrassing in front of others – people call such person a shy one.
Very often they are afraid of opinions of people around them: they think that the worst thing in life to be not like other people, because of a disapproval, mockery, or discontent. That is why shy people never allow themselves to be the center of attention, inhibit spontaneous arising of desire, do not want to openly express their opinions and do not defend their rights. Such people avoid situations in which they need to act and make decisions, communicate openly and to tell others about their values. That’s why most shy people do not achieve success in life: they don’t meet new people, don’t communicate with anyone, and don’t start doing anything new – they are afraid of failure.
Why shyness is harmful
When a person is constantly confused and too concerned about what people around will think, it often works against him/her and people really can not adequately assess all the skills and talents of this person. In such a situation the negative feelings and anxiety with depression are very likely to appear.
- First of all, understand that worrying about what other people think about you is stupid, and sometimes inappropriate. People tend to be busy caring first of all of themselves – and only after that, they turn their attention to others. Except for those people, whose good attitude it is required to earn, evaluate people, not by their appearance, but by their real qualities.
- Make it a rule: always think positively – especially if you think about other people. Many people will disagree with you on various issues, will have the opposite point of view – but this does not mean that they will blame you. Learn to communicate, even if you are afraid to approach people and talk. Smile and be friendly, and remember that you are responsible for the outcome of the conversation only half – the other part of the responsibility lies on your interlocutor.
- Do not judge yourself severely – awaken your sense of humor. If you say that something is wrong, do not blame yourself – smile, allow yourself to be yourself and continue to talk.
- The goals that you set for yourself must be real and meaningful to you – or you just will not want to achieve them. For example, set a goal to learn to conversate, behave confidently and communicate easily even when a person is completely unfamiliar to you.
- In a difficult situation for you – for example, in public speaking, try to prepare in advance – work out at home in front of the family members, or even just in front of the mirror.
- Cease to dwell on your failures: remember and realize that it is not wrong, only those people who do not do anything never fail. Memorize not your mistakes and failures but your victories and successes.
If in any situation, you will be hard to relax, remember the words spoken by some really great person:
“Do not worry about what others think about you: they are too concerned about what you think of them.”