Many people very need real advice from real people for the near future after thirtieth birthday. Nobody can give a best advice, as person, who has already relived this period. We propose you 10 vital lessons from real people 40+ years – all of them have individual losses and mistakes in the period after 30. So, they have what to say to you – don’t repeat common mistakes of 30-years people, live the fullest life and try to make all our lessons in your real life. We hope, after reading JiJi.ng tips you will be absolutely happy!
We find different letters from real people over 40 years with their experiences, which were produced in the period from 30 to 40 years. There were more than 600 letters, but it was surprise to find, that some of the tips in one form or another are found in almost every one. Combine all this answers, it was collected impressive piece of collective wisdom.
JiJi.ng presents them for you – so, read, comment, share!
1. Begin to save money for retirement now, without delay!
I have lived up to 30 years, without thinking about my grey hairs, but after thirty you have to make a big financial breakthrough. Pension savings should not be delayed indefinitely. You must learn to understand how to construct such things as insurance, pension plan and mortgages, for now this burden rests on your shoulders.
The most important advice that was presented in virtually every sent a letter – immediately begin to build financial well-being, start savings for the retirement.
Readers offered to take this important following steps:
- Make your main task – to pay all the debts and credits as soon as possible.
- Create a personal financial “stabilization fund” – thousands of people have lost their means of livelihood because of health problems, lawsuits, divorces, business problems, etc.
- Spend a part of every salary to the accelerated repayment of the loan or postpone it to a savings account.
- Avoid frivolous purchases. Don’t buy a house until you can take the most available for you terms of a loan or mortgage.
- Don’t invest in something you don’t understand. Don’t trust to stockbrokers!
- If your debts exceed 10% of your salary for the year, this should be a serious warning to you. Stop unnecessary spending, pay off debt, start to make savings!
All readers agreed at one thing: start saving as early as possible and as much as possible. One woman wrote that at thirty she worked for low-skilled work and raised two children, but saved for a pension fund. She started to do it early and invested wisely, so in 50 years she achieved material stability for the first time. She believes that nothing is impossible. Just work on it!
2. Start to take care of your health now, immediately!
Your mind feels for 10-15 years younger than the real age of your body. Your health goes faster than you think, and you don’t even have time to notice this.
Everybody knows how to take care of own health. We know how to eat, how to sleep, exercise, and so on. But, as in the case of pension funds, the opinion of the seniors is always unanimous: become healthy and you will stay healthy in old age. Your body doesn’t break down suddenly, it gradually destroys insensibly for many years. For next 10 years, you should slow down this unhappy destruction.
Cancer patients, survivors of heart attack and stroke, diabetes and high blood pressure, people with aching joints and chronic pain, they all say the same:
If I could go back and started everything again, I would start to eat healthy and engage in sports without stopping. Then I found an excuse, but could not imagine the consequences.
3. Don’t communicate with people who treat you badly
Learn to say “no” to people, actions and commitments that don’t carry any value to your life.
After appeals to take care of health and finance, the most common advice has sounded quite interesting: the readers would like to go back and build more clear boundaries in their personal life, to spend more time only with good and pleasant people.
Don’t be tolerant to people, who don’t treat you well. Point. Don’t be tolerant them for financial reasons. Don’t be tolerant to them for emotional reasons. Don’t be tolerant to them for the sake of your children or for your own good.
Usually people overcome their own limitations, because they find it difficult to hurt someone else’s feelings, or they fall into the trap of wanting to change the other person or make him feel better about you. It never works. In fact, it even makes it worse. As wisely said one reader: «Selfishness and self-interest – are two different things. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.”
World for 20-years people seems open, full of opportunities, and lack of experience makes them cling to people, even if they don’t deserve it. But 30-years people have already learned that the world is always enough of good people, so there is no reason to waste your time on people who don’t support us on our path of life.
4. Be good to your close people
Tragedies happen in everyone’s life, in family and friends circle. Be a person, who can help in such moments. I think, the interval between thirty and forty years – a decade when in your and your relative’s life starts to happen a lot of shit, which you couldn’t even imagine. Parents die, your spouse dies or change, children continue to be born, friends divorce… the list is endless. You can’t understand, perhaps, how much one person can help, just stay and hear you, without judging.
According to this, try to spend more time with your lovely friends and family, who are really close to you.
5. You can’t achieve everything – focus on things you do really well
In life, everything is built on compromises. You sacrifice something one to get the other, and you can’t get both together. Accept it.
Some readers have noted, that most people choose a career at the turn of the twentieth, and, like many other make a wrong choice. It takes years to find in what we really good, but it brings pleasure. It’s better to focus on your main strengths and bring them to the maximum, year after year, than to succeed in a half- in something else.
Shortly, focus. You can achieve more in life, if you focused on making one thing very, very well.
For some people it will cost many risks in their early thirties. I can be the destruction of a career, for which you have already spent 10 years of life, loss of income, for which you worked and which have become accustomed. This brings us to the next point…
6. Don’t be afraid of risks, you can still change all
Majority of people to 30 years believe that they must surely adhere the chosen path, but it’s never too late to start over. For last 10 years I have seen people, which were sorry for their decision to leave everything as it was, even considered it wrong. These are such quick ten years of life that make the days – in the weeks and weeks – in the years. And in 40 years, they found themselves in the midst of a midlife crisis, without taking absolutely nothing to address the problem, which were aware of it 10 years ago.
Many of us have noticed that society requires to “decide” to 30 years – with a career, marital status, financial situation, etc. But this is not true. In fact, dozens of messages sent literally begged not to allow public expectations from the “adult” hinder you to take risks and start all over again.
Very soon I will be 41 and I’d told myself in thirty years: you must not lead your life in accordance with the ideals other people. Live your own life, don’t let anyone control it. Don’t be afraid to put everything on the card, you have the power to create a new.
Several readers have made major changes in his career of 30 years and were happy. One left a lucrative job of a military engineer to become a teacher. Twenty years later, he called the decision the best in his life.
Less fear. Less fear. Less fear. I’m almost 50 and I’ve just learned this lesson. Fear has caused enormous damage to my life in the 30. It has negatively has affected my marriage, my career, my self-esteem. I blame that I has worried about the opinion of other people about me. I thought, I could handle with that failure. I have worried about the consequences. If I could relive that time again, I would take more risks!
7. You should continue to grow and develop
You have two assets, the loss of which impossible to fix: your body and your mind. Many people cease to develop and work on themselves from 20. Many people are too busy to worry about self-development. But if you are one of those few who continue to learn, to develop your thinking and take care of your mental and physical health, for 40 years you will be ahead of your peers for light years.
If someone can change in thirty – and want continue to do so – then he should work on himself to get better. Many readers have noted that the decision to sit down again at the desk in thirty years – one of the most useful things they did. Someone begins to go at courses and seminars. Someone at first starts his business or moves to another country. Someone begins to visit a psychologist or to practice meditation.
Your goal should be the number one desire to become a better person, partner, parent, friend, colleague, etc. In other words, to grow as a person.
8. Nobody understands what they are doing. Get used to it!
If you are not dead – mentally, emotionally, or socially – you can’t predict your life for 5 years. It will not go the way you expect. So stop assume that you can plan ahead, stop suffer what is happening now, because all things will change, and overcome the desire to control the direction of your life. However, fortunately, you can use a bunch of chances and nothing to lose – you cant lose what you never had. In addition, your sense of loss – the fruit of your reflections, which will be weaken over time.
One of the lessons from all letters: nobody understands what he does. This statement usually continues to work, and later in life – in fact, it works forever.
Most of what you think is important now, looks completely unimportant in 10 or 20 years, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is called “development”. Just try not to ever take everything too seriously.
9. Invest in your family – it’s worth it
Spend more time with loved ones. When you’re growing up, your relationships are changing, and how they change, depends on you. Your parents will always see your child as you don’t show them himself as an independent adult. All age. Everyone dies. Use your allotted time to build the right relationship and enjoy family life.
Family is a new big topic of our next decade of life, because it begins to touch us on both sides. Your parents are aging and you have to think through how you will communicate with them as an adult. And you need to think of building your own family.
Most agree that it’s necessary to leave behind all the grievances and problems with your parents and learn to interact with them. One reader wrote: “You are too old to blame the parents in any own shortcomings. In 20 years, you could just run away from home. In the thirty – you are an adult. Seriously. Be above it. ”
Then each of us comes to the next question: to have a child or not?
You don’t have time. You have no money. You must at first make a career. This will end your usual life. Stop, please… kids – it’s great! They make you better in everything. They force you to go beyond your capabilities. They make you happy. Don’t put off having children. If you have not already done so to 30, now is the time. You will never regret it.
“Correct” time for children will never come, because you don’t know what it is until you try. If you have a good marriage and a medium for education, seeking to make them as soon as possible, it will bring you much happiness.
On the other hand, several letters have expressed the opposite point of view:
Don’t feel obligated to start a family and children, if you don’t want that. What makes a happy one person, does unhappy other. I decided to stay a bachelor with no children and still live a happy life rich. Do what is best for you!
Conclusion: although the family – it’s absolutely necessary for happiness, the majority of people finds that the family is always worth the effort that they put into it, of course, if it provided a healthy and harmonious relationships within it.
10. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself
Be a little selfish and do something good for yourself every day, something exciting – every month, and something remarkable – every year.
This point is rarely excelled in readers’ letters, but in one way or another, was present in almost all of them: treat yourself better. Almost everyone said it. There is no one who cares or thinks about you as much as you can. Life is hard, so learn to love yourself now, because then it will be harder.
Many people used the old cliche: “Don’t waste your strength on the little things in life.” A sixty-year Eldri wisely remarked: “When you meet a problem, ask yourself, will it make a difference in 5 or 10 years? If not, take a few minutes on it and live on.” Most readers agree with the simple rule to accept life as it is, with all its imperfections.
So, let’s read last quotation from Martin (58 years old):
When I turned to 49 years, my father told me that I would like to be at this age, because in twenty you think you know everything, at thirty you realize that this is not so, and at forty you can finally relax and take things easy for what they are. In my 58 I want to say that he was right.
Also, read our article about how to behave at 30 to be perfect at 50!