Funny Naija jokes are one of the outstanding features our countrymates are known for. Anecdotes, raillery, funny Nigerian quotes, playful conversation – these are things we just can’t give up. Life can be difficult, but a sense of humour always makes it easier.
Some of the best Nigerian jokes, however, are difficult to understand for outsiders. They take roots in our traditions and customs; they mock or expose something local; they are created by people with the specific mentality, and only people that share the same mindset find them hilarious.
April 1 is coming, so we decided to prepare in advance. If you don’t plan any practical jokes, you can entertain people with some funny stuff. Or you can do both. Anyway, here are some funny Nigerian jokes that will make you smile. Enjoy!
Short jokes
10 years old: Mum, I want to be a doctor.
16 years old: Look, I’ve got all A’s.
20 years old: So this is medicine…
35 years old: Make some noise for DJ Doctor!
***
Madman: Doctor, I have a problem. Everyday I dream of cows playing football.
Psychiatrist: Here, take these tablets at night.
Madman: I’ll start tomorrow because. They have finals today.
***
Dear Parent, your son, doesn’t smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take a shower regularly. Thank you for understanding.
Dear Teacher, my son is not a rose flower. Don’t smell him, just teach him! Thank you for cooperation.
***
It is оnly in a Nigеrian moviе that yоu will sее cassava plant in an Evil fоrеst. Whо plantеd thе cassаvа? Dо spirit plant cаssаvа tоо?
***
Yоu wоuld knоw yоu are wаtching a Nigeriаn mоviе whеn it sаys “35 years lаter” but thе dоg in the yаrd іs stіll аlive and well.
***
No matter how bad you are, you’re not useless. You can still be used as a bad example.
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When am bored I call MTN customer care and ask why my phone isn’t charging
***
iPhone X is technically a small apple – exactly what The Serpent got Eve for free.
***
Dating a skinny boy may be very romantic, unless the wind blows him away from the relationship.
***
Dating a church girl is the best….I cheat, she finds out, we pray together and blame the devil.
Akpos Nigerian joke
Akpos the house help, entered Madam’s room without knocking.
MADAM: Akpos, this is wrong, what if I was Unclad or dressing up?
AKPOS: That can never happen, madam.
MADAM: How can you be so sure?
AKPOS: I always peep first and if you are Unclad, I’ll just wait and watch until you have dressed up before I enter.
Akpos is currently in the emergency room of a general hospital
***
Akpos comes home from Church, greets his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the house. The wife is was surprised and excited! She asked with smiles, “Did the Pastor preach on being romantic?” Out of breath the husband replies, “No, he said we must carry our burdens.”
***
Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
Akpos throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Akpos: Me! I’m going home now.
***
Akpos’ wife was packing her clothes when Akpos walked in.
AKPOS: Where are you going?
WIFE: I am moving in with my mother.
A few minutes later, Akpos also started packing. His wife walked in:
WIFE: Where the hell do you think you are going?
AKPOS: I am also moving in with my mother.
WIFE: What about the kids?
AKPOS: They should also move in with their mother since everyone is moving in with their mother!
***
Akpos took her wife to the party. She turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” Akpos: “Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
