- 1. Always remember the purpose of the dispute
- 2. Do not focus on the dispute as itself
- 3. Make sure you speak the same language with your opponent
- 4. Try not to move away from the key point of the dispute
- 5. Argue only about the things you clearly understand
- 6. Do not be afraid to admit the mistakes that you have made during the discussion
The ability to defend one’s point of view is universal: it can be useful both in communication with management and colleagues and in a dispute with a friend about which shoes are trendier this season.
In many ways, the ability to convince depends on the innate qualities of a person. On the other hand, winning the dispute is a matter of specific knowledge.
Now we will share 6 proven tips on how to argue like an adult and win disputes!
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1. Always remember the purpose of the dispute
A dispute always starts to achieve a specific goal: depending on it, it is necessary to set priorities during the dispute. For example, you want to convince the employer of your competitive advantages over other candidates, and then you start a discussion: “should the employee always be ready to work overtime”.
Suppose you were able to convince the employer that the employee should not always follow such a requirement. But will he hire you after this?
2. Do not focus on the dispute as itself
Remember that a dispute is useful at least so that you and your opponent can see each other’s positions more clearly.
A dispute does not necessarily start in order for a particular problem to be solved once and for all. For example, you argue with your mother-in-law about the methods of raising a child.
It is unlikely that you will reach an absolute compromise on each item, but you can clarify each other’s positions. This will help you to come to an agreement in each specific situation in the future.
3. Make sure you speak the same language with your opponent
You can argue only with a person with whom you have a common position, a system of values that unites you.
For example, a dispute between the model taking diet and the restaurant chef about the nuances of sauces will be quite useless!
4. Try not to move away from the key point of the dispute
A skilled opponent may try to confuse you, bring you to the area of knowledge in which you do not orient well enough.
Do not allow him to disorient you, gently but persistently point out that he had moved away from the topic of your discussion.
5. Argue only about the things you clearly understand
If emotions overlap over the edge, and you really want to convince your arrogant opponent that genetic engineering causes great troubles to humanity, try to consider whether you have enough knowledge in this area; especially if your opponent is a Doctor of Biological Sciences.
6. Do not be afraid to admit the mistakes that you have made during the discussion
Keep in mind that recognizing your own mistakes does not harm your reputation! On the contrary, it increases the level of other people’s trust!
Connect with Crystal Andrus: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/CrystalAndrus Do you always argue from a place of defensiveness? Crystal Andrus gives advice to a woman who feels like she reverts to teenager mode any time she gets in a heated discussion with her husband. For more on Crystal Andrus, visit: crystalandrus.com YourTango is your source for smart talk about love, sex, dating and relationships.
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