Human – the only creature in the world that understands that it is not willingly came into this world and not on it’s own die. Hence the fear of death, conscious or unconscious, which is the constant companion of every human.
Fear of death – the source from which the others derive their energy other negative emotions, including loneliness. The higher development of mankind and the human, the more painful may be the loneliness.
As there is a feeling of loneliness?
A child is born without this feeling. Of course, he is shocked that he was expelled from the intrauterine paradise, and the first thing he does is issue a cry outrage. But this is not the feeling of loneliness. In the first years of life baby is surrounded by maternal care, plays with the kids and not feel a sense of loneliness. It merged with the environment, and calls himself in the third person. And only when he calls himself “I”, he begins to realize that he is not like the others, he formed a system of relations, that is the character. Only after thisappears the feeling of loneliness.
With proper education when the child may develop freely, the feeling is not so pronounced. But the formation of neurotic character when parents hinder the child’s development in the direction of his abilities and forced to do something that is not consistent with his inner nature (for example, teach music with no musical ability), there is a state of emotional stress, which is associated with the fact that, with on the one hand, child loves parents for what they give him everything he needs, on the other hand, child experiences a feeling of hatred towards them for the containment of the realization of his desires.
Hostility is not even allowed in his mind. There is anxiety, but anxiety is displaced into the unconscious. Begins to form a variety of psychological protection, one of which – a socially acceptable role.
In the mind there is a feeling of loneliness, abandonment, lack of understanding, which then can not leave a person throughout his life, even if a lot of people around him – relatives, colleagues, friends.
“A lot of people, and no one to talk.”
But even with the right upbringing feeling of loneliness can not leave the person. Thus, this feeling is an essential property of the individual.
We like whales. Whales – terrestrial animals. It so happened that on their physical device they are forced to live in the water. But they did not lost the connection with the land. Every hour they have surfaced from the water and swallow oxygen. So are we.
On the one hand, as herd animals, we can not live without each other. On the other hand, as an individual, we almost always feel a sense of loneliness. And we must communicate, communication is like breathe oxygen, but still okay if most of the time we live in an ocean of our loneliness. Nowhere to go from it, and so it is best to use it.
Imagine that next to you is a chair. From it nowhere to go. Of course, you can pick it up and close them all over the world, but is not it better to sit on it. How to do same thing with loneliness? Just think, in the first place, why did you become lonely; secondly, what is the use of communication with you for others, thirdly, why do you bored by yourself?
“When I was overcome by a feeling of loneliness, I asked myself these questions and honestly answer them. I was in the hospital with violation of cerebral circulation in the blood vessels of the brain and think well, but could not walk. Alone I stopped in my development. It seemed to me that I can do more, but there was no promotion at work. I started complaining to my friends about the unfairness of fate, and then illness. Well, one, well two times person can listen to, and what then? It is clear that I began to avoid friends who were engaged in business. So came the answer to the second question. From communicating with me they did not have any sense. I didn’t work on self development, didn’t use their advices, and they got other interests. Pursuing psychology, I realized that my skills are not wanted, only my knowledge, skills, abilities. And I was boring with myself, because I was empty. I have nothing but complaints, to give to others, and want to take the most precious thing – their time. I began to work on myself. The study of the psychology of communication made me interesting to talk to, there began progress at the work. Now people are drawn to me, but with such whiners, what I was before, I do not want to talk! “
Dan, 35
Pretty typical story. Indeed, spiritually empty people tend to communicate and want it more than it is determined by the biological need. But the fact that spiritually mature people do not want to communicate with them, and they find their own kind and exchange emptiness. Empty pastime can be called such, if it is not accompanied by personal growth. Forms such pastimes are numerous: most of our routine, discos, drinking and so on. This is not a real communication. Time can fly fast, but the feeling of loneliness then becomes even more pronounced.
Often, escaping from boredom and loneliness, people start to travel. Of course, you can go to the edge of the world, but by you can not escape from yourself. Even Socrates said to his companion, there is no sense in travels, for he carries himself around everywhere. Many scandals and wars, if to think well, are due to attempts to weaken the unbearable feeling of loneliness.
What forms of communication can solve the problem of loneliness?
All those that promote personal growth.
They are not so much: learning, creativity, physical culture. Person becomes self-sufficient, and communicates for not to take, but to give. As a result of successful study you acquire knowledge you want to share. An effective creative activity has an appropriate assessment. As a result, people become clother. The student is grateful to teacher for the knowledge, the teacher pupil grateful for what he had learned of his ideas, and continues to develop them. Employees, together made an important discovery, together fulfilled the important work become close to each other. And even if, after that, they are not seen for many years, they still have each other.
Thus, we achieve the so-called transcendental, cosmic connection with people. And if you are familiar with the works of the geniuses of the past and you can imagine the development of the future, then you are connected with the whole universe. And if you are in this world I have done something significant, even after physical death, your spirit remains. And if you are all the time busy with your personal growth, you simply have no time to think about death. In addition, in the way of personal grows, he will meet interesting people, and Love.
Although your loneliness remains, you will have no time to think of it!
